latest blog

wanna to write a blog , but today i open this page need to wait for a long long time...
dunno how much time had spent to wait it..
lol.. of course not just waiting it.. the line speed too slow..
actually, every time i wrote blog here, is telling for my feeling.
i am shy... can't give too many expression in front of people..
so, i'm looking for a person, those would guide me to the right way
what person i really need right now is improve me to express more,
how to communicate with people.
of course, not only give the advice for me to just for a referring
and not just only a spoke without action,
i need it with action! i need a real experience!
with friends with teacher with colleague...
it seem like very easy things...
normally, we stay with anyone we don't know each other before for a period of time,
we will be friends... but, for me, it is big distance between of us..
so tough to keep in a distance.. really, need the person who can guide me for the way..
i can't explain well here.. but, something like that..
wish i can meet the person.. need God help...
now i realize, we need have a thick face to face with people that we don't know,
because wanna be friend with them.
the first step to me, is so difficult to proceed...
the feeling i wrote here is just for me to read, and actually i don't want let people that i know to saw it. so, i rarely using this blog, for the person i don't know read this, im please to let them comment here, why ? i still have many secret inside my heart i can't speak out.. for a person such as me, that is innermost feeling.. and just only the same behaviour person will know my thought. when i have a new other blog, i will write all my feeling, secret, my everything there, don't want let anyone that i know to read the blog. unless, im already not timid to communicate with people.
time was running everyday, but i have nothing change with this behaviour, so weak!!
everyday hidden myself, lol... need to dig a hole to escape!!
gambateh ba! encourage myself! lolx.. so stupid thing! day, over again one day.